From the satire desk /
CEDAR CITY — As an early Christmas present to his wife, Cedar City dad vows to stop saying fake F-words. Asked about his motivation, Dale told us:
"My wife has been on my case for having those substitute swears... You know, I say fetch, fudge, freakin', and frack. I don't even know where frack came from, because I never watched Battle Star Galactica." — Dale, Cedar City
When asked, Dale's wife Donna said:
"Oh, he thinks it's real funny, but it's worse because he forgets and says, "Oh, fetch, I mean flock!" It's like double the cursing around here."
No fracking sites — by that we mean, no oil sand fields – were harmed in the making of this satire.
Got a bad habit of swearing? May we recommend replacing those potty mouth words with things Charles Dickens might say:
Hey officer, this parking ticket is balderdash! I say!
Or you might try:
Lowering inflation by printing money is utter claptrap!