Samoset Annoyed at William Bradford - Thanksgiving History

Samoset Annoyed at William Bradford - Thanksgiving History

FROM THE SATIRE DESK

PLYMOUTH — Newly discovered texts between Wampanoag warrior Samoset and English settler, William Bradford reveal annoyance over the first Thanksgiving menu.

Samoset: I know we're bailing you out here, but can you guys at least bring a side dish? Maybe some creamed corn?

Bradford: Our supplies are depleted, and our most of our crops failed. Many in the settlement are malnourished and on the brink of scurvy.

Samoset: Bruh. Can you at least bring some Jell-o salad?

Samoset Wampanoag tribe person texting William Bradford
From the Satire desk at Nauvoo Supply Co.

Happy Thanksgiving from Nauvoo Supply Co. We hope you spend it giving thanks to God and to those you love and pour one out for the Wampanoag tribe and Bradford's crew because they showed us how to make peace and break bread over an awkward meal.

Back to blog

Awesome LDS gifts, shirts, and jewelry

1 of 4
  • BYU Introduces New Super Easy, One Question Admissions Test

    BYU Introduces New Super Easy, One Question Adm...

    From the satire desk BYU has a new admissions test for Freshmen and it's super easy.  One aspiring student told us anonymously, “I was relieved they didn’t ask if General...

    BYU Introduces New Super Easy, One Question Adm...

    From the satire desk BYU has a new admissions test for Freshmen and it's super easy.  One aspiring student told us anonymously, “I was relieved they didn’t ask if General...

  • Sola Stitch logo collage with Bo ho looks, graphic tees, tunic tops and gold jewelry

    Introducing Sola Stitch, the collection for LDS...

    Check out our newest seller collection, Sola Stitch! 🧵🪡   Sola Stitch offers modern, modest fashion, and LDS apparel featuring maxi skirts, long skirts, and exquisite yet simple jewelry, perfect for...

    Introducing Sola Stitch, the collection for LDS...

    Check out our newest seller collection, Sola Stitch! 🧵🪡   Sola Stitch offers modern, modest fashion, and LDS apparel featuring maxi skirts, long skirts, and exquisite yet simple jewelry, perfect for...

  • Free Live Stream: How to Watch Kolobyte's Pioneer Day Music Broadcast 2023

    Free Live Stream: How to Watch Kolobyte's Pione...

    From the culture desk / Free Pioneer Day Live Music Stream, Celebrating Mormon Pioneers With Electronic Music Show  LDS electronic artist Kolobyte always delivers an energetic music and lights show. He's...

    Free Live Stream: How to Watch Kolobyte's Pione...

    From the culture desk / Free Pioneer Day Live Music Stream, Celebrating Mormon Pioneers With Electronic Music Show  LDS electronic artist Kolobyte always delivers an energetic music and lights show. He's...

1 of 3